I learned about those three things over the last two days and not in a good way……I have felt pain, but I have never felt hurt like the things that were said to me……and now I have to appease other guilt…..keep your friends close, and your enemy’s closer……that is even more true when it comes to family……..

I spent another horrible day in Brooklyn today…….my brother has done as predictaed has moved in with my dad and has added an addional level of stress.  He has been there one week and has created more problems in a few days than he has had since my mother died 2 months ago.  At least my father is on track, he is finally around to blaming my mother for dying and leaving him all of these problems…..Also, as usual after many days of paradise in this house, my wife and I are fighting like animals……all my fault beause the mounting stress is too damn much to carry……I am sure this all sounds like whinny complaints but if you had any idea of the f’n details….my complaints are an understatement…….

this is going to kill me, emotionalyy destroy my daughter and ruin my marriage……all the things I have worked so hard for in life……..

my mothe rused to wish her own son dead when she was alive and I was cnvinced that it was in desparation for the problems he had caused her…..but seeing more of his behavior first hand……now I think I finally belive that she was sincere in her wishes…..he is my bro and I love him….but he has a toxic existence and everything and every peorson he goes near is destroyed….

..:: dante lives ::..

I lost my mother to cancer on March 31 of this year….so this is the first Mother’s Day with out her…….she loved so little and was happy if I just stopped by and delivered her favorite thing in the whole world……her granddaughter…..she never asked for expensive gifts, 5-star meals, or for me to stay too long……..she truly and sincerely valued only the simplest things in life……and where ever she is, it is a better place because she is there…..

she me taught me something else……I guess something you can only teach a father……the most important mom in the world is the mother of your children……

Rest in Peace mom, love you, and miss you…..thanks for everything……

..:: dante

it has been forever that I have been here…….but I think the time is right to be back, I have had a lot happen to me since the last time I have posted….and I am feeling that if I do not share my frustrations with someone my damn head is going to explode.

a few facts of the last few months….

I am getting old……in less than 1 year…I will be turning the big Four Zero…..
my brother is still on drugs…lies and lies and lies…..but certainly still uses….
my father has turned on me countless times….he is scared frail old man…driven by fear….never going to be me…
my mother has died of cancer……less than 1 month ago….3.31.2012…
my mother has also told lies to the bitter end….she has lied about things that will be hurtful to me, my wife, and my princess for a long time….

I feel like I am living in the middle of my worst nightmare……

that is it in a nutshell…..I am sure details will unfold as I continue to write…….but for now, I have a headache….too much drama since I woke up this morning…….

forgot the most important item……my wife does not understand me….

..:: askdante

What will people that knew my father remember most about him when he is gone?

Most certainly that he is a douchebag, always was and will remain one until the day he dies.  All he does is give my mother a hard time and she continuely defends him.  He is in the hospital tonight because he had angiogram and stent put in the main artery to his heart……he is being his usual belligerent, nasty self, giving everyone a hard time, especially my mother who is riddled with cancer and has decided to spend the night with him, so that he does not have to be alone in the hospital……..after  almost 45 years of marriage….when they go there eternal separate ways, they will part for ever…….the kingdom of heaven belongs to her, he will burn in hell……he should spend his remaining time thanking God that I am not in charge…….he will spend the remainder of his misery in the shitiest nursing home I can find until Satan calls him home………

have a nice weekend………don’t forget the NYC marathon on Sunday……someone day I am going to run it……but not this year.

..:: dante

“Whatever dosen’t kill you, makes you stronger”

I love it because it true, we grow, we learn, and we are better for our exoerinces, no matter how awful they may be…..

it feels good to be back…

..:: askdante

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

my dad being drunk and being a abusive cocksucker to me, my mother, and my brother………lucky for me he has become an old, weak, and scared old man……..see who gets the last laugh bitch….

..:: askdante

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Can a person bring a bad aura to a home and upset a mood long after they are gone?

That is what i would have picked as the question of the day.  It happened to me on Sunday, after several weeks of avoiding my aunt (who basically raised me while I was hiding my abuse parents at home), she managed to track me down and invite herself over for Sunday dinner.  At first I did not mind, but once her crooked smile walked through the front door, I felt my mood begin to sour.

It is not really any one thing that she says or does that annoys me, it is just her presence that existence that make my skin crawl……it is the looks, the leers, the jealous comments, the insistence on encouraging behavior in my daughter that I really dislike…..and if I say something or make a comment about not liking a game or the way my daughter is acting, she has to tell me what i was like when i was a kid……..

I think it is a combination of bad upbringing, exposure to my dysfunctional childhood, and basic ignorance towards everything that make her who she is……….

in one way I am very grateful to her for the safe place that she had created for me when I was a lost and confused child……….and for that I will always have love and compassion for her…….

but in others, I can not stand the negative energy that brings, the horrible memories that she holds for me, and most importantly, I hate me and my mood after I around her………after a full day of arguing with my wife and everything and nothing, she says to me, every time your evil aunt is around, you are impossible to live with for days…..

you know what, I AGREE…….but as much as you hate me when I act like this, it is not nearly as much as I hate myself for the exact same reason………

I need to write more….this incoherent gibberish probably makes no damn sense to any of you, but i feel better already….

..:: askdante

How do you like my new profile photo?

..:: askdante

Charges Dropped Against Man Arrested While Praying Outside Chicago Abortion Clinic

Read the full artilce and post your thoughts /comments.  Do you think man should have been arrested?

..:: askdante